NEVER USE THE INTERNET TO CONDUCT MEDICAL RESEARCH!
I really should take my own advice. I'm scheduled to have my Yellow Fever vaccination tomorrow morning and, like the fool that I am, I decided to check out any potential side-effects online. I was prepared for the sore arm, the rash, the tiredness and the headache but I wasn't prepared for the fact that I have a one in a million of chance of dropping dead in the waiting room. If I'm really lucky I won't get any side effects for up to a week later - and then I'll drop dead six days after that.
I'm starting to believe that Joe and Sue have managed to come up with the perfect crime. What better way to get rid of their spouses so they can elope together? If the mountain doesn't kill us then the preparation might. It's like something out of an episode of Cracker.
And if the Internet isn't putting the willies up me, it's the TV. Ever since agreeing to this increasingly insane expedition I can't move for programmes about people risking certain death in the clouds. Last week I accidentally stumbled upon a documentary about people dropping dead on Everest, and today - while I was trying to eat my dinner - Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge showed a man moments away from dropping dead due to altitude sickness. He had to be wrapped up in what looked like a giant condom and if he had gone to sleep he would never have woken up. What a way to go.
What the hell am I doing?
I can't even escape it on the radio. Every morning on the way to work Chris Moyles is banging on about it and it's only going to get worse.
I'm also starting to feel frustrated at the lack of progress I'm making. After last week's two hour hike I appear to have damaged a tendon near my ankle bone. This means I can't wear my boots until the swelling goes down. It's thoroughly depressing.
However, in other news, I finally joined a gym. I did this over the phone. Well, it was too much like hard work to actually go down there myself. I have an induction scheduled for next week with an ex-Army Sergeant and I'm having flashbacks to school P.E. lessons already.
Neil


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